Ryanair strikes again

I’m currently sitting at Stansted airport, stuck, because my plane broke down, so they’re having to fly in a new one in from Greece. I suspect I’m going to be here for a very, very long time.

I hate flying Ryanair. Every time I board a Ryanair flight, a little piece of my soul dies. Unfortunately on this particular trip, there weren’t a lot of other choices. The worst thing of all is, Ryanair doesn’t need to be as crappy as it is. If they just did the following:

  • Sort out that garish blue and bus-yellow colour scheme
  • Remove the stupid “We’re on time” chime, and, especially, stop playing it when the flight arrives late
  • Stop making me queue up at the check-in desk to have my boarding pass stamped, with a crappy date stamp. I’m actually going to walk into Ryman and buy one, so I can stamp my own Boarding passes in future
  • Stop capping peoples’ bags at exactly 10.0000KG. Standing in the queue worrying that your bag is 1 gram over, and that you’re about to be slammed with a huge fee tends to make you a bit of a nervous wreck at the best of times
  • When you deliver your passengers at their destination 4 hours late, surely, you could pass up on playing all the cabin audio advertisements and apologise? At 1:30AM in the morning in a foreign country, I’m generally more concerned about how on earth I’m going to get to my hotel than I am about buying perfume from this crappy airline.
  • Generally just “de-tackified” the whole operation. Just because it’s cheap, it doesn’t have to be tacky too

On the face of it, Wizz Air may appear to be a crappier airline still, due its run-down planes, astoundingly even-smaller amount of legroom, but actually; I’ve been on a few Wizz flights now, and unlike Ryanair, I’m not furious and disillusioned after every flight.